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in the country, we have politics and elections, as well as our fair share
of campaign trickery and poor losers, just like in the "Big City."
That ever-present fact and recent national events bring to mind the story
LEROID'S LAST BIG CAMPAIGN
While I was buying groceries
over at Leroid's Store this morning, I spotted a whole case of that good
old fashioned bottled Root Beer on a high shelf behind the counter — the
kind you just don't see anymore, in those heavy, dark returnable bottles.
I asked young Nathan Leroid how much he was getting for them, but he said
they were left there by his grandpa, and they weren't for sale. Then it
all came back to
Back when Nathan's grandfather, Lucius Leroid, ran the store it was called "Leroid's General Store," and Ol' Lucius ran for County Commissioner 35 years straight, and lost 35 years straight. It wasn't that folks didn't like Ol' Lucius, in fact, next to the preacher, he was probably the most trusted man around — but, he just couldn't get the folks in our corner of the county to get out and vote, like his opponent, Seth Riggs, did — or so it seemed.
Over the years, the election results became predictable. Unless someone who actually voted passed away, or reached voting age, the vote totals were always the same, year after year — always 23 for Lucius, and about 200 for Riggs. Eventually, Lucius had quit fretting over the fact that his "close, extended family" had 25 registered voters — 2 more than the votes he got every year.
So, Ol' Lucius had settled into a habit of running for Commissioner with no real thought of winning — that is, until the year his son, Lucius Jr., brought home a friend from College.
Little Lew, as everybody called him, had told his classmate, Jimmy Car-somethin'-'r-other (sorry, but nearly 40 years have passed since then), about his father's political rut, and young Jimmy had volunteered to help Little Lew try to solve the problem. After talking with Ol' Lucius for less than an hour, young Jimmy had him stirred up like he hadn't been for 35 years. You see, Little Lew and young Jimmy were both taking Political Science at State College, and even though Little Lew was an "A" student, young Jimmy was "head of the class" — and, maybe that's why the same idea Little Lew had been suggesting for years "just sounded better" when young Jimmy said it — a slick but legal way to get the people to the polls!
And so, right before Election Day, a BIG sign appeared above the General Store sign:
Seth Riggs 401,
Seth Riggs wins again!
And that's the story of how old Lucius Leroid became known affectionately to local folk as the "POUR Loser." Lucius was only angry about loosing for a few minutes, but then he realized that he had been wasting his and the Taxpayers' time and money, and never ran for office again. And, not only did he accept his new nickname of "POUR LOSER", he laughed about it until the day he died. Young Jimmy never came back to visit the Leroids — last we heard of him, he was off somewhere still pulling devilish tricks for any politician who would pay him enough money.
You know — It's too bad that some politicians these days haven't learned how to be an honorable "POUR Loser" like Ol' Lucius, instead of just being "POOR
Copyright © 2000 by BUSTER SOFTWARE ® — You may use this article if you credit us and include our URL (Bustersoft.com), but if you use it without crediting us, we may just tell Ol' Elmore that "you done took the Anjinner" and give him "yore address"!
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